CATCH-UP - Don't go breaking his heart

A new face on the Street, and he's going to be Trouble.

We know this because his father is Terry Duckworth, good-for-nothing spawn of Vera and Jack. Molly has been getting in touch with everyone in Vera's address book, hoping that someone will relieve her and Tyrone of the burden of caring for the elderly twosome. When Paul Clayton turns up it looks like her prayers have been answered, but they do say be careful what you wish for. Tyrone is the only one who isn't fooled by Paul's devoted grandson schtick.

Meanwhile, Liz should also have taken more care about what she wished for. She wanted a bit of excitement and passion in her life, and lo and behold there was Derek. Only it turns out that Derek is an even more needy and weedy specimen than Vernon.

Having been dumped by his wife, Derek turns up at t'Rovers to have a cry on Vernon's shoulder. But while Vernon is busy elsewhere, Derek tells Liz he'll tell Vernon all about their affair - unless Liz agrees to keep seeing him. That's the thing with men like Derek, they have to have a woman at their beck and call, and it doesn't much matter which woman. The love of Derek's life was and is always going to be Derek, but that probably won't stop Mrs Derek having him back eventually.

But Liz wants none of it, so Derek tells Vernon what he and Liz have been up to, with times and dates. Vernon is devastated. He'd sold his Northern Soul record collection to buy a weekend in Paris for Liz (which would be commendable if we could conveniently forget that the reason he's so skint is that he's a lazy waste of space). He tears up the plane tickets (great news for the environment! But recycle that torn up paper, Vern), packs his little bag, and leaves.

In other news, Carla sacked Joanne. Don't really know why, don't really care.